Take 5, Mom: Time Traveller's Edition

My evenings usually consist of spending 1 - 2 hours in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, preparing for the next day, etc. Ho, hum. Then I retreat to the living room with the fam for some quality time in front of Satan's right-hand man, the television. Sometimes we play games or color or wrestle or...just whatever they want, really. But after falling asleep sitting up during my lunch hour yesterday, I decided that I would skip the general festivities of the evening and retreat to my sanctuary, the bedroom, and watch a movie that I have had stored in my DVR for roughly 6 months. After some flack from the husband (shocker), I commensed to laying down and preparing myself for the visual treat that is Eric Bana.

I have read the book that the movie is based on and was anxious to see it come to life. (Side note: The book was damn confusing and frustrating and emotional and wonderful all at the same time. Considering the time it took me to make my way through it's pages, I wish now that I had just watched the movie. It was much easier to follow and less graphic, for lack of a better word.) I had washed my face, brushed and flossed, clearly not intending to get up of the bed until the alarm clock jolted me, and just in case I couldn't make it through the flick because of what I am beginning to suspect is a mild case of narcolepsy.

I made it through the credits and the first 10 minutes of the movie before my first interruption. All things considered, (the abandonment of my family, the children's boredom, the husband's diskike of the situation) this is pretty good. Caleb comes in and hugs me and tells me he loves me, kissing me and loving on me repeatedly.

Me: What are you doin', buddy?

Him: Avery's beads are all over the place and we are picking them up. Whatchu doin?

Me: I'm trying to watch a movie and you are trying to get out of helping pick up the beads. Goodbye.

He left, but not without a frown/smirk on his face while shutting the door just a little harder than necessary. You could almost hear him thinking, "Dang. She's good."

I watch another 30 minutes of the movie and just when I am really into it, here he comes again.

Me: Caleb, I'm trying to watch a movie. Can you please let me be?

Him: I want to watch it with you. (He climbs up on the bed and covers up, snuggling close. AWwwww, dang it. I hate not to love on him, but come on, man! I just want to watch my movie!)

Me: This movie is not for kids.

Him: I'm not a kid. I'm sixteen. (He's 6) I'm just short. (He says this with a straight face and I can't help but laugh at him, which then blows the stern voice I had worked myself up to.)

Me: Caleb, go.

Him: Mommy, I just want to love on you. And I want to sleep downstairs. ( Their father allows them to sleep in our room, a lot. I think it is unnecessary unless on a weekend or a storm is coming through, so I had already told him that he would sleep upstairs.)

Negotiations begin-

Me: Go. Out. Now.

Him: Whoever is stronger will get to pick where we sleep.

Me: I'm stronger, Caleb. Go.

Him: Well, let's just see. Let's have a contest.

Me: Go, now, or the Playstation is mine for a month.

He left, but not for good. Roughly 10 minutes later he reappears.

Me: Okay, I'm mad now. Get out of this room. You are forcing me to be mean.

Him: I just don't understand why we can't sleep down here.

Me: You know what, I don't care. Leave me alone and you can!!!!

Him: Yes! Daddy said you would give in!

And then he was gone. I'm such a putz. And these are the moments when I wish that I could time travel.

So, I finally get the movie finished and just like the book, it made me cry. Not bawl or hyperventilate cry, but enough to make my nose run. But I have found that once the gates are open, I tend to cry about all sorts of things. The movie is just the catalyst. I am shocked that the movie has ended and I have, by the grace of God, been able to lay in silence and ... just cry. It is cathartic sometimes. Just getting it all out, but my miracle was short lived. The whole family piles in the room and there I lay, red-eyed and snotty.

(Might I just mention, before this next exchange, that my husband has already watched this movie without me. So he is completely aware of the emotional rollercoaster that it could take one on.)

Husband: Is the movie over? ( The credits are rolling.)

Me, long pause: Yeah.

Husband: Are you crying? What are you crying about? (He sounds like Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own. "There's no crying in baseball!" Really? 'Cause there is crying in this bedroom. If you only knew how many tears have been shed here, buddy.)

Me: (I can't describe the look on my face, b/c I have never actually seen myself give it, though it is one that I use quite often, but it says this, "You are a f*#&@%g, retard." Retard being pronounced just as Allen says it in The Hangover.) The movie was sad.

Husband: Oh.

Just another night in "Predictably Ever After".

"Believe in Me" - Every young girl should watch this!!

So, we watched this little movie called "Believe in Me". It is about an Oklahoma girls' basketball team set in 1966. The expectations for this little team are pretty low considering the most games ever won by them in a season is 6. The town doesn't go and watch them play, they wear the boys' old uniforms and only get to practice for one hour during the school day before lunch. But things are about to change for these ladies.

Coach Driscoll, who has assisted other boys' teams for several years has come to town and though he thinks he will be coaching the boys, he ends up coaching a giggling group of girls.

Knowing nothing about girls and wishing for boys, he coaches the only way he knows how. In a time when these country girls have no more aspirations than becoming a rancher's wife and raising babies, Coach Driscoll gives them something to believe in...themselves. I highly recommend this movie to any girl, young or old. This is a prime example of how far women have come in sports and in society.

It is an inspirational story that had my child saying, "You know, Mom, I do want to play basketball again this year!!" Thank you, Lord Jesus. I would sorely miss coaching her.

Summer Lovin'

TOP 10 SUMMER LOVES:

(in no particular order)

1. The children get to stay up late with me. During school they have a set schedule and we must never deviate from said schedule or chaos will ensue. In the summer, they can hang out with us and play until at least 10 or 11. I like having them around. Go figure.

2. Tank tops and sun dresses. The less clothes the better, right? It's nice to just slip on a simple dress or tank and shorts and go.

3. Flip-flops. Need I say more?

4. More daylight=more time to get things done. There are no more hours in the day, but it just feels like you have more energy. Honestly, I think humans should be allowed to hibernate in the winter. Six am in June brings sunlight into my window that inspires me to get out of bed. Six am in December just depresses me.

5. More time to get things done=a cleaner house. A cleaner house=a happier Tess.

6. "I'm breaking up with you, Sanyo." Mostly everything that I normally watch is a re-run or off the air and I send the television addict in me to rehab. It's nice to read books and bake. However, I still listen to Everybody Loves Raymond episodes in the kitchen. What do you want from me? I never said I was perfect.

7. No sports. It is a wonderful thing to sleep in on a Saturday. Baseball is over, football hasn't started and basketball is a winter sport. AHHHHhhhhhh.

8. No homework. I DID NOT have a Science textbook in the second grade and neither should my child. Seriously, people. Why does my 7 year old already need to understand the properties of a matter? Isn't it enough that she knows the difference between wood and plastic? And, I guarantee that she can name more oceans than me. The child has never been to the ocean, but she can tell you which ones touch the United States. I'll have to hire a professional tutor to help her by the time she gets to 5th grade. What happened to kids being kids? Why is it that every child has to start preparing for college before they can efficiently wipe their own behind?

9. Lazy days in the backyard. We have a little 10x4 pool that the kids play in and you would think that we had a luxury in-ground pool with a grotto. They love it and play in it at least every other day. They don't need toys, they just use their imagination. It's a awesome thing to witness.

10. Just... being. During the school year and especially fall, my life spins out of control. There is always something going on and I never feel like I get to have those little moments with my family that I cherish so much. You know, like when someone tiny wakes you up with a little kiss on the forehead and terrible morning breath because they are ready to start a new day. You open your eyes to this little face with eye boogers and drool stains and hair that looks as though your first call that day may need to be to an exterminator because the rats have nested. Is there anything more beautiful? Not in my world.

So, enjoy your summer. I'm going to enjoy mine!!!

God is Good: Cloud ART Edition

And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof. -Revelation 21:23

You know, people pay bookoo (?) bucks for a painting or sculpture from an artist. Typically, the more eccentric the artist, the more money they make. Whether they chop off their own ear in a crazy episode or they use uncooked macaroni for texture, to someone, their work is considered art. Whatever. To each his own, I say.

As a mother, I am constantly presented with timeless pieces that should no doubt hang in the Louver(spelling?). To me, though, I see God's "art" everywhere I look. I can see it in my kids. The design he put into making them look like Mike and me, but giving them their own characteristics separating them from us completely. The blooms and colors of the hydrangea bush in my front yard. The subtle shades and textures of the trees behind our house. The ever evolving work of art that is the sky. The reflection and shapes that water gives when you put your hand into a gentle stream. It's everywhere.

Don't go to a gallery and spend thousands of dollars when you can look all around you and see His glorious works for free.

Take 5, Mom

Look at these faces. How could you not love them? I do. I love them more than Romeo loved Juliet, more than Garfield loves lasagna, more than Tammy Faye loves mascara.

More than anything. I have never had better times in my whole life than I have with these kids. They are the most awesome, hilarious, sweet, complicated, loyal friends I have ever had. They are everything to me.

And yet...sometimes, I just need five minutes. Well, actually, 3 minutes and 37 seconds.

See, I had just fed these little cherubs, washed the dishes, cleaned up the mess that they left especially for me in the living room, seperated them from wrestling, refereed a fight, wiped a dirty butt, and started a load of laundry that contained their clothes. So, after working all day and then coming home to my 2nd job-MOM, I just wanted to take the ipod, lay on the bed and listen to Glee's version of "Poker Face". Is that too much to ask?

I just needed 3:37 to myself. Alone. In my room. Alone. No children. Alone.

Apparently, I am a life-giving energy source and they are aliens that must stay close to the mothership or they will die because, of course, they followed me into my room. I tried to take the high road and ignore them completely. Answer no questions. Reply to no comments. But, this, I should have known, only starts the game of "Who Can Make Mommy Talk First?" The questions and comments are blended with laughter as I try to drown them out with the music coming through the tiny ear buds. When this doesn't seem to be working they take a different approach. Attack!!! Now I am being poked and tugged and tickled while laying on the bed trying desperately to decompress and, all the while, my blood is reaching the boiling point.

Finally, I snap and I say, loudly but not hatefully, that I just want to listen to the music for a few minutes. Please let me be!! The children retreat, only to tell their commander in chief, Dad, that I want to lay on the bed and listen to music instead of watch the movie that had been picked out. Chief then yells my name, obviously concerned that I am hendering the schedule he has set forth. I don't answer. He yells louder, and I can hear him, but I pretend that I can't. He finally is motivated enough to come and check on me, not out of concern for my well being, but the fact that I have disregarded a vocal command to respond.

Chief: "What are you doin?" Firm, but not mean. Looking at me as if I am from another planet and I may want to take his brain for research.

Me: "I just wanted to lay here for a second and listen to a song. Just one song."

Chief: "Why?"

Me: "Just because."

Chief: "You know that we are gonna watch that movie, right?"

Me: "Yeah."

Chief: "When are you gonna be done?"

Me: "Forget it." Exhausted and disgusted with him for being a complete moron.

Chief: "Whatever." He walks away annoyed.

I laid there for a few seconds, hoping upon hope that Calgon or Paul Walker or both, might come and take me away. Just for 3:37. Is that too much to ask?

In the end, I put the ipod up and dutifully retreated to the living room where I watched a mediocre movie with my angels/hellions who climbed all over me, forced me to play tic-tac-toe about 73 times, talked, loved on me, needed a snack, wresteled some more, and did flips in front of the tv. The chief was right. Why would I possibly want a few minutes to myself? That's crazy.

I can't be mad at them for long. Who doesn't want to be loved? They love me beyond measure and I love them right back. What is there really to complain about?

Oh yeah, that's right, 3:37.

Life's a Bowl of Cherries...So PICK one already!!

So life is full of choices, right? Let's make a few.

Being that we are in the eye of the storm that is Twilight, Edward or Jacob?

Okay, now I have been a Edward fan from page 1. Not one time did I believe that Bella should be with Jacob, I don't care how warm he is.

Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner?

In real life, I like me some T.L. Robert Pattinson only works for me as Edward not as Robert. Go figure?






Clark Kent or Superman?

Personally, I would take Mr. Kent. There is just something about a studly nerd and also I really don't want to have to wash and then air-dry Superman's tights all the time. I can throw a button-up in the dryer.

Pitt or Clooney?

Tristen and Achiles are my two fave characters he has ever played. Must be something about the long hair.

But Clooney seems extremely funny. I think this one is a draw!

Puck or Finn?

I gotta go with Finn on this. He is a little slow at times, but he is so sweet!!

Alright, let's hear it. Which cherries would you choose if given the bowl in the first place? Weigh in. I want to hear your opinions people!!

Book 'Em, Danno

I am about to make my first attempt at a book review. I will exhaust myself trying to find my point. I promise. I've just always thought that it would be fun to have my opinion of a book put into People magazine. (Sigh...) A girl can dream.

Alright, so I read a book called "My Name is Memory" ------> and I very much enjoyed it. The idea is that God recycles us, if you will. We keep being reincarnated time after time and all but a hand full of us don't remember a thing. But there are a few rare souls who can remember back as far as their very first life and that is the torment that has befallen 'Daniel'. He has lived hundreds of lives over thousands of years and since his first life, he has been in love with the same girl. This would seem like a wonderful thing, but the problem is that she can't remember her lives like he does, so every time he finds her, he has to try to convince her of what they shared. Obviously, she often thinks he is a nut job and wants him to stay away, but sometimes her heart is open and she begins to accept the dream that he speaks of. The tragic part is that they are never born in the same place at the same time. In some lives, he is a child and she is 80 or he is a middle aged fat man with a wife and two mistresses and she is a homeless runaway. Daniel loves her all the same, but fate does not make it easy for the two of them to find the perfect fit. If you crossed the drama and intensity of the "Time Traveler's Wife" and the vulnerability and innocence of "50 First Dates" (the movie), you've just about got the feel of this book. 'Daniel' takes you on a journey all over the world through his memories and you are enamored with the love that he has only for 'Sophia'. That isn't her name now, but it was the first time they fell in love and that is how he will always know her as he spans the globe lifetime after lifetime looking for a moment in time when they can be together.

I highly recommend this book. ***** <------ 5 Asterisks!!!

Coupons, Sales, Rainbows and Unicorns...These are a few of my Favorite Things!!

So, I have this compulsion to shop, which sounds dangerous, right? Well, it can be and has been, but I only buy things that my family needs. Well, I do now anyway. I have never been one of those shopaholics that buys new clothes all the time or can't wear the same pair of shoes with more than one outfit. I mean I like clothes as much as the next person, but if I overspend it is typically on something for my kids and honestly, there has to be an occassion before they get something. I promised myself before I had children that I would not be one of those parents that made a jaunt through the toy section of every store and allow my children to buy something just for behaving appropriately or some other nonsense. (Seriously. Did you get something every time you went to the store and refrained from throwing yourself on the floor and acting like a complete ass? I didn't. I did however get to keep the ability to sit without a throbbing pain on my backside from a well deserved beating.) My kids are pretty well supplied with toys because we go overboard at Christmas and our house is small, so it seems like they have a lot.

On a side note: The husband goes out and buys $40 worth of Zuu Zuu pets for the kids because they have seen the commercial and that is all they have talked about for an entire week. I pleaded with him not to because I know that they won't play with them and this is just a frenzy brought on by merciless propaganda on the Cartoon Network. But he argued that they do not ask for much and I have to say that it is true. They very rarely get excited about any particular toy and get in that whiney begging mode that you so often hear 3 aisles over at Walmart. To their credit, they never once begged for the Zuu Zuus. So, he buys them and the children are enamored with them for, oh, about 45 minutes and have not, I repeat NOT, touched them since. Lesson learned, Daddy...always listen to Mommy.

Anyway, I have this need to get into the grocery store or drug store and spend as little money as possible while filling my cart with all of the items my family will need to get through...a nuclear war. I currently have 8 bottles of Kraft salad dressing, 6 boxes of cereal 14 boxes of jell-o, 6 bottles of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce, 6 bottles of Dawn detergent and...a lot more. Now, these aren't exactly "staples" if you will, but I am ready for...well, I don't know, but I'm ready for something!!

So, I thought that I would share with you my latest and greatest deal of the week. Perhaps, I will post my most awesome of deals each week so that you too can be amazed by me. LOL

Kroger

All Oxi-Clean detergent - On Sale for $2.99

coupon - $2.00

Total of $.99 for 32 loads of laundry

(I buy multiple newspapers, so I ended up with 3 bottles)

Snuggle fabric softener - On Sale for $2.99

coupon -$1.50

Total of $1.49 each (I bought 2)

Betty Crocker Cake Mixes - On Sale for 10/$10

Betty Crocker Icing $1.49 each

coupon - $.75 for the combo

Total $1.74 (I bought 3 of each)

Total spent on said deals this morning $11.84 with tax. Not too shabby, huh? I bet some of you spent $11.84 on a jumbo bottle of Tide or a couple of cases of soda pop, right?

CVS

Gillette Men's Body Wash $4.00 get $4.00 Extra Bucks back (a phenomenon that I will gladly share with you if you want me to)

So basically, $4.00 for one bottle and then a BOGO coupon

Total = I spent $4.48 on the first bottle, got the second for free and then they gave me $8.00 Extra Bucks (CVS cash, essentially)

Ahhhhh. That's what they call a "money maker" in the couponing world. I used my $8 EB to get 3 boxes of name brand cereal, 2 pakages of, well, feminine products and 4 packs of gum!!!

La, la, la, la, la.......... All is well in my shopping world at moments like this!!