Your Girl or the World's Girl?

"From all that I had read of history and government of human life and manners, I had drawn this conclusion, that the manners of women were the most infallible barometer to ascertain the degree of morality and virtue of a nation."

-President John Quincy Adams

Do you every feel like you were born in the wrong time? I often wonder what it would have been like to live in the 50's. I have a dear friend, Kristy, who was totally born in the wrong era. She is the epitome of the 50's mom...with a little edge to her. She is capable of keeping up with world around her, but she has old fashioned values and that's just one of the things that I love about her.

I would have probably been a stay-at-home mom who could cook and clean and look pretty doing it. Women were just different back then. They were...ladies. They wore skirts and their makeup was modest and they cared about looking nice for their husbands and they were the primary caretakers of the whole family. While some of us still can claim that title, can we say that we do it with our whole heart and take great pride and joy in the mundane little tasks of running a household? Do you care today whether your hair looks perfect all the time or if your husband feels like he is taken care of and he doesn't have to waste any time wondering what is for dinner or if you remembered to pay the water bill? The world moves at such a fast pace that we are willing to sacrifice important family dynamics just to get through a day. I have always been a fan of women's liberties. We should get to vote, work and have an opinion. But these liberties sometimes blur the lines of what God wants for our families.

Recently, I began a bible study by Vickie Courtney entitled "Your Girl". I picked this book up at Lifeway because I was searching for something that would help me guide my daughter through what will no doubt be the most confusing, traumatic, wonderful, impactful time of her life...tweenhood.

Avery is only 8, but already she has begun to make the transition from toys to books and art and jewelry and fake nails and everything else that makes me want to cry. I already miss that little girl with the thick plastic pink glasses and pigtails. She is not completely independent, but she has begun to change her own earrings and spritz herself with perfume. I want to put a rock on her head so that she can't get any bigger because she is my precious angel and I will be lost without her, but I can't. God gives you these little gifts called babies and before you know it they are grown and gone from your daily life. They need you less and less every day. And though it is painful, it is blissful and even knowing the outcome, I wouldn't change a thing.

There are times when I wish that I could turn back the clock and hold my babies again. Their fat, drool covered fingers reaching for the face that I have just spent 20 minutes making up while they sat outside the bathroom door and cried from a broken heart because those few minutes apart are more than they can handle. That soft baby smell that you can only get if you hold them just under your chin and breathe in all that they are. The soft belly laugh that belongs solely to them. The look on their face when you walk into their room early in the morning to greet them and they are as excited as they will ever be because they missed you desperately through the night. These are just a few of the things that I wish I could get back, if even for a day.

But life goes on. They grow and evolve into little people with opinions and likes and dislikes and questions and insecurities and attitudes, but one thing that never changes is the influence that we as mothers have. A wonderful woman that I go to church with, Ms. Pat, always says to never underestimate the power of your influence. I believe that with all my heart. My kids are a product of the environment in which I allow them to live. My opinions, dislikes and insecurities can easily be theirs, so it is imperative that I keep my hand in God's at all times so that I am leading them in the right direction.

I'm only in the second chapter of this book and I have already learned so much. The startling statistics that effect young girls today are more than I ever realized. Between television, magazines, family dynamics and our feminist society, these girls don't stand a chance. I have always believed that everything your child is and will become starts at home. If I want Avery to grow up to be a woman that cherishes God and respects her family and friends, then I need to show her how. I wouldn't give her a sewing machine and tell her to make herself a dress. I would show her how it works and I would explain choosing a pattern and I would help her with the buttons and hems. (Actually I would get my mom, or Jessi, or Cathy, or Kristy, or pretty much anyone but me to do this because I can't really sew, but you get the point.)

How will Avery know to be a strong Christian woman if I don't show her? Kids don't come with an instruction manual. You have to figure it out as you go, but there is hope. We have the book for all questions and answers right at our finger tips. The Bible.

Paul writes in Ephesians 6:4 - And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This is our challenge, ladies, should we choose to accept it. If your children mean the world to you like mine do to me, then make it your life's ambition to bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Start small. Pray for them. This is the greatest and least thing you can ever do for them. Lead by example in all your interactions and conversations. Treat them like little people. Don't water down the important stuff so much that it slips right through their fingers. Instill REAL values in them. Don't let your children fall victim to the society that we live in. Dream BIG for them, but don't encourage them to cast aside what is of true importance to gain something of this world that won't last. They can't take any of it with them when they go, so concentrate on helping them get what they will need to get where the Lord wants them to go.

I hope to start a mother's bible study at church on this very book when I finish it myself. If you want to read it now, you can order it from Lifeway. It is called Your Girl, by Vicki Courtney.

Good luck this week on making sure your kids know that they are loved and that you are there to co-pilot their lifeship.